


It's Gonna Be Hard When I'm Gone

by justyrae



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Band Cuddles, Canon Compliant, Christmas, Curtain Fic, Gen, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28018062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyrae/pseuds/justyrae
Summary: Christmas can be hard on anyone, but Julie didn't think it would affect the guys this much.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 105





	It's Gonna Be Hard When I'm Gone

**Author's Note:**

> holidays can be tough at the best of times, and for me personally christmas is especially tough so i wanted to explore that a bit with a little help from our favorite girl, julie molina. and since it seemed (to me, anyway) like she didn't learn nearly enough about alex or reggie, this little fic came to be.
> 
> if that made no sense then just pretend it didn't happen and enjoy the fic ok thank youuuu <3

Putting the ornaments on the Christmas tree one at a time has been a tradition for as long as Julie can remember. Every year they do rock-paper-scissors to see who goes first, best out of three matches, and then they continue the pattern until all of the ornaments have been hung. Somehow Carlos is usually the winner which means he gets first pick and he always tries to go right for the star that goes at the top of the tree.

"No, _mijo_ ," Ray says with a laugh, "that goes last, you know that."

"Fine," Carlos says with an over-dramatic sigh as he grabs whatever ornament is nearest his hand and sticks it right in the middle of the tree.

It's more meaningful this way, Julie thinks, even if sometimes Carlos doesn't give every ornament the treatment they deserve. There are certain ones that just require a little more care, a little more ceremony and effort into choosing the right place on the tree. One of those is absolutely a funky old lightbulb that her dad decorated when he was a kid, and he's still proud of it to this day. Julie loves seeing his face when it's uncovered amongst the tissue paper and other ornaments, his goofy smile that comes from seeing his equally goofy ornament.

Julie volunteers to get the step-ladder when it's time to add the star to the top of the tree, even though Carlos is insisting he can totally reach it this year. Granted, he's been saying that since he was seven, so it's sort of a bit at this point. She retrieves it from the hall closet, tucking the handle over her shoulder as she carries it back into the living room.

What she sees when she reenters the living room almost makes her drop it.

In the few minutes she was gone, Luke, Alex, and Reggie decided to join in on the decorating. Reggie's standing next to her dad and poking various ornaments, Luke is looking at the stockings by the fireplace, and Alex is sitting on the couch watching the whole room.

"You decorated without us?" Luke says, turning to look at Julie with a frown. 

" _Mija_? Something wrong?"

"Nope!" Julie quickly answers as she brings over the step-ladder, setting it up on the opposite side of the tree from where Reggie is currently standing. She gives him a pointed look while her dad's head is turned, but he doesn't move away from the tree.

"I'm just looking!" Reggie says in protest.

"Uhh Julie?" Carlos says as he nudges her with his elbow. "Are you gonna let me put up the star or what?"

"Uhh, yeah. Sorry." She clears her throat and moves out of the way, glancing over at Luke and giving him the same glare she'd just given Reggie. He just frowns even more and goes to sit down on the couch next to Alex, crossing his arms as he pouts.

Carlos gives Julie a weird look as he climbs up the step-ladder, but as he's putting the star on the top of the tree he notices one of the other ornaments a little further down moving and it clicks. The ghosts are here.

Julie spilled the beans after the show at the Orpheum, though she hadn't told Carlos absolutely everything. He knew that the band was made up of ghosts, not holograms. He knew that they were nice and he shouldn't be afraid of them, but it was still weird knowing there were ghosts hanging around their house and he couldn't actually see them.

"Looks good," Ray says as he claps his hands together. "What should we do now?"

"Uhh…" Julie and Carlos share a look, and in a matter of seconds they're on the same page. "Don't you still have some shopping to do?"

"Yeah!" Carlos agrees as he climbs down from the step-ladder, "you should really get on that, _Papi_. There's only like 16 days left!"

"No time like the present!" Julie laughs. "Get it? _Present_?"

Carlos groans at the pun but their dad laughs. Out of the corner of her eye Julie can see that unlike Luke, Reggie still hasn't moved. He's not even paying attention to anything other than whatever ornament he's currently staring at, but Julie can't see what it is from where she's standing.

"Do you two want to come?" Ray asks as he heads for the kitchen to find his keys.

"I'll come!" Carlos says after he and Julie share another look. "Somebody's gotta keep you on track."

"He's right," Julie agrees. "I'll stay here."

"You sure?" Ray asks. "You don't mind?"

"No, it's okay, you go!" she replies, waving her hands at him. "Besides, if I went then you'd probably just try to pawn it all off on me and you've gotta do some things yourself, _Papi_."

"Fair point, _mija_ ," Ray says with a smile. He finds his keys on the kitchen table, brandishing them with a laugh before he comes over to give Julie a kiss on the top of her head. "Stay out of trouble."

"You too," Julie says, laughing. She mouths _thank you_ to Carlos, who mouths back _you owe me_ before he follows their dad out the front door.

After the door closes, Julie watches through the window to make sure they've gone before she rounds on the guys with her hands on her hips.

"What have I told you guys about _boundaries_?!" she says, fully expecting to get three different arguments over common space in the house being exempt from the boundaries rule.

But nobody says anything. At least, not to Julie. Alex and Luke have their heads bowed towards each other and they're whispering low enough that Julie can't hear what they're saying. She turns to look at Reggie, who's still staring at the tree. She moves closer to his side and follows his eye line, discovering a moment later that he's fixated on a bauble that has "Baby's First Christmas" written across it and her tiny handprint from when she was barely a year old.

She turns back to the others, but Luke is nowhere to be seen. Julie throws her hands up in exasperation and Reggie flinches next to her.

"Sorry," she says, frowning when Reggie suddenly moves away. He sits down in the chair next to the couch, leaving the open space next to Alex where Luke used to be.

"He went to see his folks," Alex says, answering the question that Julie hadn't asked yet. She carefully steps around Reggie and goes to sit down next to Alex, frowning at the level of sad that's permeating the whole room.

"It's your guys' first Christmas since…" she trails off, looking back and forth between Alex and Reggie. "I'm sorry, I didn't even think--"

"It's okay," Alex interrupts, awkwardly patting Julie's knee. "It's just a lot."

"How come you guys don't go see your parents," Julie asks, "like Luke does?"

Alex and Reggie look at each other for a moment, neither of them saying a word. Julie already feels like a jerk for yelling at them earlier, but now she's struck with the worry that she's really screwed up this time.

"I tried…" Reggie says after a while, sighing as he leans back in the armchair. "And I found a bike shop where my house used to be. So… yeah." He tilts his head, shrugging one shoulder in an attempt to appear more cavalier about the situation than he clearly feels. "And Alex--"

"I don't want to see them," Alex says, cutting Reggie off before he can get anything out.

"Okay," Julie says, for lack of anything better. The room goes silent again and she twists her fingers together as she tries to think of something that could cheer them up. "Well, sometime, if you want, Reggie--" she says, looking at Reggie and giving him a hopeful smile when he looks back at her, "--we could try and look your parents up on Google? Maybe find where they moved?"

"That's… umm…" Reggie swallows hard and shakes his head, his voice rising an octave above his normal tone. "That's super nice of you, Julie but, uhh, they fought a lot? So, like," he pauses to swallow again, "they probably don't live together anymore and…"

Reggie sniffs loudly and Julie feels her eyes fill with tears just from _looking_ at him trying not to cry.

"I just, I don't think I could handle seeing them with new families, you know?" Reggie says quickly, trying to get everything out before he actually does start to cry.

Julie starts to get up, holding her arms open to wrap them around Reggie in a hug, but before she gets too far he poofs over onto the couch. She grunts a little as Reggie squeezes her tightly, burying his head in the crook of her neck. A few seconds pass and she turns to Alex, offering her right arm to him.

He takes her up on the offer, curling into her other side and hugging both her and Reggie. They sit quietly in a tight embrace until Reggie stops shaking and his breathing returns to a normal pace. He eventually ends up with his head in Julie's lap as she strokes his hair for comfort, and Alex leans against her right side with his head against her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she says, mostly to Alex. "I wouldn't have brought it up if I'd--"

"You didn't know," Alex says. "It's okay."

"You'd think I'd be better at this," she says with a rueful laugh. "Or at least I'd have some tact."

"You've got more than some people," Alex replies, gesturing down at Reggie. Julie laughs a little, gently smacking Alex's hand.

"It's weird, right? We've all got parent issues, but none of it's the same." Julie sighs softly. "Doesn't make anything easier, though."

"I still feel like I _should_ miss them," Alex admits. "But then I remember how they treated me after I came out and…" he sighs and cuddles closer to Julie. "I don't think I want to see how they're doing without me."

"You don't need them," Julie whispers fiercely as she kisses the top of Alex's head and hugs him close. "You're part of my family now. All of you." She pats Reggie's shoulder and he grabs her hand, squeezing it.

"Best family ever," Reggie says.

"Totally," Alex agrees. "Even though your brother's totally weird."

"Oh, I know."

"Ray's cool." Reggie hums happily. "I love him."

" _We know_ ," Alex and Julie say together.

"I'm sorry we never got to meet your mom," Alex says after a few seconds of silence, and he takes Julie's hand and squeezes it.

"Me too," Julie replies, squeezing Alex's hand in return and smiling even as her lips start to tremble. "I think she would've liked you guys."

"Me especially, right?" Reggie asks, turning his head so he can look up at both Alex and Julie. When they stare back at him with a confused look, he balks. "What? Parents love me."

"Sure, Reggie." Julie says as Reggie settles back down with a smile on his face. "You totally would've been her favorite." She glances over at the tree and blinks a few times, feeling tears start to form in her eyes. "Just like Christmas," she adds softly.

Alex presses a little closer, and Julie's grateful for the comfort.

"She loved any excuse to decorate," she goes on. "Halloween, Valentine's Day, even St. Patrick's Day," Julie laughs a little. "The whole house would be covered, and there'd always be a party with tons of people."

"That sounds awesome," Alex says.

"They were the best," Julie agrees, and then her breathing gets a little shaky. "Last year was the first Christmas without her and it just… it wasn't the same."

Neither Alex nor Reggie say a word; whether it's because they don't know what to say or they're waiting for her to continue, Julie isn't sure. She takes a moment for herself and then breathes in deeply, letting it out slowly and telling herself it's okay to feel whatever she needs to feel.

"We didn't even really decorate," she says, her voice a little softer and less sure. "Tía came over and we had dinner, opened presents, and just… talked." Julie sighs again, finding the memory of last Christmas isn't as hard to think about as it was to live through. "It was nice."

"I'm glad you guys decorated this year," Alex says.

"Me too," Reggie says as he sits up, curling into Julie's other side like Alex has. "Sorry if we ruined it."

"You didn't ruin anything," Julie tells him as she hugs him tightly. "Everything's better now that we have you guys in our family. Even if my brother can't see you and my dad doesn't actually know you exist."

"Baby steps," Reggie says, nodding sagely. Julie cracks up, sending Alex into a fit of laughter as well. Seeing his friends laugh makes Reggie laugh too, and it breaks whatever tension was still hanging around in the air.

"I'm glad we found you, Julie," Alex says once the laughter's subsided.

"Me too," Reggie agrees, stretching his arm across Julie so he can grab onto Alex and hug both of them at the same time. "We love you."

"I love you guys too," Julie says as Alex reaches across and holds onto Reggie. She waits a moment, and then asks "did you guys, umm, want to watch a movie or something?"

"Like, a Christmas movie?" Reggie asks. "Sure!"

"Yeah, okay." The other two start to move but Alex stays right where he is, effectively pinning both of them to the couch. "Could we, maybe, stay like this a little longer, though?"

Julie and Reggie both smile at him and settle back down into the couch.

"Of course," Julie says, tilting her head so it's leaning against Alex's. "For as long as you want."

🎄

When Luke finally comes back to the house, he's expecting to find Julie and the others in the living room. When they're not there, he checks the garage, but they're not there either. He poofs into Julie's bedroom as a last resort, absolutely not expecting to find the three of them cuddled up on Julie's bed with her laptop open.

"You're having band cuddles without me?!" he says, crossing his arms over his chest as all three of them jump at the sound of his voice. He comes closer and once he sees what's playing on Julie's laptop, he gets even more upset. " _And_ you're watching Home Alone?!"

"Nice of you to finally join us," Julie says, rolling her eyes as the three of them shuffle over to try and make some more room on her bed.

Luke continues pouting even when Alex pats the spot next to him and Reggie gestures him over. Julie turns the laptop screen towards him as she rewinds the movie all the way back to the beginning, despite the fact that they were already more than halfway through it.

"Happy?" she asks.

"Yes," Luke answers primly before he cracks a smile and launches himself onto the bed, sending them all into utter chaos as they try to get back into their comfortable spots. He ends up half sprawled across Alex and Reggie's one wrong move away from tumbling off the other side of the bed, but it works.

Julie presses play and then reaches over and puts her hand on top of Luke's, smiling at him before she turns her attention back to the screen. Now, everything is perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on [tumblr](https://astorytotellyourfriends.tumblr.com/) and send me jatp prompts pls


End file.
